Closet Cleaning

For “what is your closet but the different personas we have auditioned and discarded? Hanging there in our closets are reminders, both good and bad, of who we are, who we’ve been, and who we’ve hoped to be.” Tim Gunn

my closet’s blank slate

Before we can pursue the solution, let us address the problem. Below are some stereotypical closets, which require immediate intervention.

Diagnosis-the torture chamber
Inside this ambry lie items endowed with the powers of self-flagellation and holy glorification. Items are distinguished primarily by size: smallish, mediumish, largish. If the body is enrobed in smallish clothes with minimal wrestling, the day is deemed good and the wearer is appraised acceptable. Her closet exists to punish and reward her.

Prescription-editing
Back up sizes should be either be removed completely or hidden from the forefront of your personal showroom. If it doesn’t fit and flatter fire it. You are the closet CEO and board and all the items exist to serve your interests, not the reverse.

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Diagnosis: the museum
Inside this cold storage lies a rich, tangible history. The frock worn when eyes were first laid on Romeo hangs next to her cheerleader’s glory guise, her wedding ensemble is pressed beside the blouse donned during the debut of her most favorite episode of Downton Abby. Her closet is sentimental rather than functional.

Prescription-archive
This closet needs to relocate to the basement. If items are kept they need to remain out of site, in protective garment bags. Better yet, take a picture and donate the actual item.

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Diagnosis-the rubbish bin
This rumpled receptacle vomits when opened. In the refuse there may be well-made trousers in need of hemming, scuffed designer leather boots, a favorite silk shell stained with soy sauce, a cashmere sweater dined on by moths. This closet lacks discipline and sanitation.

Prescription-Boundaries
Start with a clothing ambulance in which all injured items are rushed to repair or taken to the clothing morgue. Continue convalescence in a boundary intensive wardrobe sanitarium.

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Diagnosis-The Disjointed Den
Trends from all different directions exist here. There are many items lying dormant and undisturbed, brooding with the irritation of their un-removed price tags. Sometimes this disorder is caused by a simple split personality: work is straightforward and boring, personal life is over the top to make up for the difference. Two different languages are unable to blend and conjugate a single look. Other times it’s ugly clothism evidenced in the un-equal representation of anemic bottoms against plentiful tops. It’s as if there are only nouns without any verbs or prepositions. Whatever the cause, this schizophrenic wardrobe is unable to communicate a cohesive outfit.

Prescription-Unification
Mend the sartorial union by declaring an official signature style. This cooperative lexicon will help you your clothing to converse. Next make sure your vocabulary is rich with equal representation from each of the clothing categories.

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Diagnosis-The Repeat
This sideboard encloses one style of twin set in five different colors, the only visible pattern is vertical stripes, and the floor is veiled with a colony of sensible black shoes. This area acts as a mechanical uniform dispenser.

Prescription-Inspiration
Install a pin board and collage aspirations from magazines, catalogs, blogs, and especially your own successes.

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Whether you wardrobe represents one or many of these examples, we will be purging them, psychological dispositions and all. Next up is your 5 step closet recovery program. In the end you’ll have a wardrobe you can actually wear.

Sponsored by:

follow EasyClosets.com, a division of the Stow Company

Contact Dimitri at 800-910-0129 ext.104

[email protected]

my interim make shift, looking very nigh the rubbish bin

Feed me fashionably fresh

A few sneaky peaks into the upcoming grand reveal

As dessert forks are rested upon diminished pillows of flakey crumbs, it is unlikely that you will invite your dinner party to admire the confines of your closet. In fact, an emaciated slice of the home-visitor pie-chart will ever glimpse the edges of your clothing closet grounds.

With far more prominent spaces to ornament and arrange some may woefully whine against the effort to assemble a custom closet. Follow me to a change of heart.

First, your wardrobe is, or should be, a carefully curated collection: the perfect ikat pencil skirt that you fished from between velour hot pants and a brocade tapestry jacket at the discount outlet, the immaculate fit jeans you discovered after three hours of slipping your thighs in and out of denim, the quilted handbag you watched until two in the morning when the eBay auction ended with your winning bid. You have sought these pieces out. You waited for them to blossom into sale. You altered them to your exact measurements. The collection of garments cooperates as a team, the sum more than any one part, confiding in one another their flattering secrets. Having a custom closet allows you to create a space specifically tailored to your collection, showcasing each and every masterpiece. Rods set at exactly the right height, shelves of the appropriate depth, and enough storage for every item in your collection.

This is not the realm of storage but display. Your closet is a demi-temple of peace and sanctuary. A space harmonizing yourself and your body. An opportunity to shroud your external self with your internal desires, free from anxiety or conflict.

A personalized boutique where each piece offers a comfortable fit, a blush inducing hue, a style that unifies your internal and external being. Hunting should be done on the sales rack, closets are for efficient decadence. If you cannot fit your fingers between hangers, if you hang wool next to eyelet, if you can identify a range of 6 sizes on a single rod, it is time for a closet makeover.

I’ve been in hundreds of closets from the catacombed bays of retail establishments to voluptuously decadent celebrity closets as large as small cottages ornamented with walnut and marble while evaluating dainty apartment models with plastic and wire in the same day. The best closets offer efficient organization, they make exquisite use of space. Just as a competent wardrobe will be selected based on your figure’s genetics, a proper closet accounts for your dressing room’s architecture. Custom closets are not just for dressing rooms the size of Rhode Island. Custom closets employ every tiny nook and cranny. Particularly if you’re tight on storage space, consider going custom.

And just in case your still prioritizing your outdoor dining set, remember that a perfectly poised closet adds value not only to yourself, but also to the future buyer of your castle. After the kitchen, bathrooms, flooring and lighting, luxury upgrades like strategic storage make your home ever more alluring to prospective buyers.

Welcome to the Cardigan Empire Closet-Palooza!

Open the doors to closet organizing tools, creative inspiration, and how-to tutorials to tailor your closet to your your wardrobe, home and lifestyle

Closet-Palooza: Dressing Room Dysfunctions

Closet-Palooza: Your Personal Clothing Boutique