I am not pretty.

Red hair, large nose, crowds of freckles, small eyes, tiny upper body, large lower body.

Society didn’t praise my features.

Society commented without talking and stared without seeing. 

Mother always told me, “Use the mirror to look nice each morning, then leave the mirror and forget about it.” 

And for the most part, I did and do. 

But sometimes insecurities creep into my self reflection. For example, a few weeks ago my hair was long (the longest it has ever been by far).  I thought it was beautiful. But it was also hot, expensive, and time consuming. 

Whenever I considered cutting it, I could hear Amy March from Little Women saying, “How could you? Your one beauty!” I was telling myself I wasn’t pretty enough.  I was telling myself my beauty could be removed with a pair of scissors.  When I realized this lie, I made an appointment, and I am so glad I did!

I’m not buying what society is selling.

I have learned that the things we CAN control about our appearance speak volumes compared to the things we CAN’T control: the words that come out of our mouths, what we put into our bodies, how we use our energy tells about who we are and shows our beauty. 

My self esteem comes from feeling loved by my family and friends, not being flattered by strangers. It comes from my Heavenly Father who loves me. When I stop to count my gratitude, it is hard to dwell on my looks. Between the love of family, friends, and my Heavenly Father, I feel whole and very pretty.

Feed me fashionably fresh

A rather large forehead and particularly stubborn hair cowlicks. There were times when these items were all I saw in my reflection. My forehead called for bangs, yet my inherited hairline made fringe impossible.  I used to loop endlessly around this supposed conundrum. 

Then one day I realized there was absolutely nothing I could do about it; I could continue to feel self-conscious, or I could just accept it  as a reality.  I did accept, and I expanded my perception to include my uniquely green eyes, round rosy cheeks, and lots of other good qualities and talents that I could be grateful for.

Below is my self-tried and self-proven, 3 step method for accepting yourself as Beauty-full.

1.  Stretch your self-worth to include talents.  Physical appearance is a fickle mistress.  Even if you like what you’ve got now, give it fifteen years.  Learning a new talent is empowering and painting, singing, budgeting, and baking won’t wrinkle or sag as you age.

2.  Accept a compliment. It makes me so happy when I give someone a sincere compliment and they don’t fight me about it. When someone doesn’t accept a compliment, it’s like they’re discrediting the complimentor’s sense of judgment–which, in my opinion, is rude.

3.  May I suggest good lighting, if not throughout your entire house, at least in the bathrooms and where ever you get ready, (where you are at your most visually vulnerable.) Fluorescent, overhead lighting could make Miss America cry.

If we think of how negatively dwelling upon all our flaws effects us, then imagine how positively focusing on our strengths can influence us and the generations that follow.  Give it a try. It won’t even hurt.

Feed me fashionably fresh