I have not been feeling as outrageous as usual of late. Mostly, I am tired. And if you’ve browsed my extravagantly worded archive, you’ll realize that the last sentence proves itself.
The most natural balm for my malady, more sleep, is not an option. Baby Boyfriend and I have an ongoing quarter hour appointment every one-hunded twenty minutes which he refuses to postpone, and I can’t refuse his blessed bald head.
During Baby Boyfriend’s gestation, my inclination to avoid a three-eyed baby led me to avoid chemically produced medications in favor of CieAura therapy. Last week I expanded my experimentation to their energy formula.
Although I am a vegetarian known to pilot a hybrid car, I can not keep a perfectly straight face when I tell you that CieAura includes a line of holographic stickers and bracelets.
We all know that holograms are what transformed record executive Jerrica Bennet into Jem via the micro-projectors in her earrings. And while a rad alter-ego would be awesome, I just wanted to be able to stay awake past 9 pm.
Below is what I have learned about CieAura’s Hologram Therapy:
1) CieAura uses holograms because they can hold an immense amount of data.
2) The chips are activated by our human electromagnetic field. They are transdermal, meaning nothing enters the body, and their effects are manifested via bio-magnetic transfer (similar to accupuncture)
3) Since CieAura Chips do not introduce new drugs or chemicals into your body; they do not create anything that your body doesn’t already have. The CieAura Chips only influence the body’s existing energies to resonate at their optimum level. And they only influence those body energies that correspond to the formulas being used in a particular chip. Therefore this form of treatment does not manifest any negative side effects or adverse reactions.
And here are my testimonial results
1) Me and my nine month belly were able to remain dormant (or at least quickly return to dormancy following bathroom visits) during the majority of the dark hours with the aid of Rest Quiet stickers
2) I was able to stroll in pregnant appropriate heels without limping because my sciatic nerve pain was quieted and controlled with Pure Relief stickers
3) Last week, I was able to sustain 6 consecutive days without a two hour nap or a Coca-Cola Zero. Thank you CX2 Plus holographic hot pink bracelet. Jem would be so jealous, it would totally match her earrings.
So the Jem theme song basically sums up how I feel now. I’m even considering acquiring a keytar to fully express myself.
Think it’s the placebo effect? Listen here:
Do you believe in non-traditional medicine?
Feed me fashionably fresh
