twenty-two

The current number of bruises on my legs, nine on the left, thirteen on the right, primarily congregated on the lower anterior portion of my legs.  Doctor professionals agree that there is nothing treatably wrong with me, unless there is a cure for clumsiness.  Whether your legs suffer from a pallid pelt, arachnid arteries, or purple polka-dots like me, read on:

1) Prevent

My mate cleverly recommended that I not thump my shins against our bed frame during 3 am baby rounds.  I’d cheerfully comply but my impertinent bed post incessantly shifts places and never apologizes for injuring my delicate lower limbs.  In cases such as these, it is generally best to grow a thicker skin, not only emotionally but physically.  There are a handful of exotic elixers and tonics to try, but Vitamin C is both affordable and accessible.  200 mg can assist your skin in synthesizing more collagen and other essentials that affect its ability to withstand the impacts that lead to bruises.

2) Heal

Once the damage is done there are cold compresses to apply, elevation to endure, but what about magic potions?  Arnica and Vitamin K combine to create a bruise healing, spot erasing cordial. Take them in isolation (Vitamin K can also treat blotchy skin, acne scars, spider veins, and dark undereye circles), but I plan to opt for the dual victory. Boiron – Arnicare Gel ($5), Vita-K Solution Super Vitamin K with Arnica, Bruises ($10)

2) Darken

Black stands out most prominently on white.  So does black and blue on ashen legs.  Therefore if we reduce the contrast and deepen the hue of the entire palette, bruises will be less visible.  The choice of Allure and capital Me is Clarins Instant Tanning Gel.  It meets all my self tanning criteria.  one) Gives Natural Glow: If Andrew asks if I used self tanner, we have failed. two) Works Quickly: Coco’s attention can be consumed by Sesame Street for a maximum of 22 minutes.  I do not have several quarter hours to air dry in the buff.  three) Doesn’t Smell: Showering is a luxury, whose results I would like to last as long as possible.  I do not want to smell like two days of running sweat as soon as I dry off.  This is a pricey product, but if you compare it to the price of one orange tinted white skirt or three pairs of stockings which have been sweated, soiled, and discarded, it’s not unreasonable.  Other more affordable options: Extended Vacation Moroccan Mineral – Dark Self-Tanning Lotion ($26), Banana Boat Summer Color Self-Tanning Lotion – Deep Dark ($7)

3) Airbrush

During the winter a pair of textured stockings clears things up rather simply, but during the summer I find it difficult to even consider adding another layer to my ensemble.  The solution painted on pantyhose.  They provide immediate color coverage for bruises, spider veins, scars, and other imperfections. I’ve selected Body Drench Quick Tan Mist $13 but Sally Hansen Airbrush Legs Medium Glow ($15) is another reputable option.