Cardigan Empire

Option 3 is not as uncommon a choice as you may suppose. While the Lower Figured Bellows may not be at the acme of the distribution curve, you need not resign yourself to sewing each stitch of your gentleman’s apparel. An outline for matching your male’s figure distribution with dapper dressings follows below:

1. Start with a proper shirt. Since lower figures carry a wide hip line, the critical charge becomes mass equalization. In explicit terms, we need to pump up the male shoulder line. One way to amplify is layering: a vest under a suit coat, a hoodie under a blazer, a t-shirt under a dress shirt. Allow shirt tails to trail unless they cascade below the zipper’s end. If this is the case, tuck and blouse the first layer, unbutton any subsequent layers, and use the outer most layer to camouflage any excess love deposits. When selecting layers, place the thinnest, softest layer nearest the body and work out to a more structured shell. Also try to make the layer nearest his face the boldest color or pattern, bringing attention back to his shinning visage.

2. Balance the bottom half. Lower figures are strong willed and slightly moody from the waist down, and they do not care much for uptight trousers. Stocky male thighs are much more amenable to relaxed pant personalities. Particularly breeds with exuberant tolerance through the thigh and seat. The trouser leg should fall straight from the fullest point and nary travel inward toward the flesh as it descends. Any amount of tapering could result in the battle of the britches.
3. Carefully select a jacket. Unlike ladies, gentleman with their full, broadish shoulders can hide beneath a long suit coat. Three-quarter pea coats and full length dress coats stun without breathing word of the secret sequestered beneath the shroud. Even a standard suit coat shroads the majority of their robustly developed loins. Mr. Bellows should however, refrain from double vented suit coats since the back panel might flare. Avoiding track jackets and other top layers with banding at the waist would also be wise since they leave the lower figure completely exposed and enunciated.

Selecting option 2 would indicate that you share surname with a sturdy Middle Figured Barrel. The thing about barrels (both literal and anthropomorphized)  is they commonly contain merry things in copious quantities. It’s not that the other body types don’t provide good company, it just seems like barrels store and serve good times directly from the gut. So whether your particular vessel contains primates, laughs, fish, or apples, below is the right way to dress him:

1. Start with a proper shirt. A proper button up for your barrel is cut to the “A,” meaning it flares out slightly toward the hem creating generous room for a happy tummy. Just ensure that the hem ends before the crotch does. Trim beyond this barrier enters the curiously androgynous zone of the man-dress. (Of course even barrels should tug and tuck for formal occasions, but their buttoned-up suit coats will create the same illusion as the untucked shirt tails.)
Leave the top few buttons open to bring attention back up to a winning smile. When applying a pattern, be sure its hearty enough to stand up to your man.

2. Balance the bottom half. A healthy trunk deserves a husky base. Rebalance the scale with a pair of flat front, wide leg trousers. Avoid a tapered leg at all cost, unless your gentleman answers to: Häagen-Dazs, Breyers, Ben & Jerry (perhaps a split personality, but both names are required). In the following exceptions, he may actually want to look like an ice cream cone for branding purposes.

Outside of these scenarios, request that he gather his trousers toward his waist (remind him it is the area north of the hips) and apply a belt to secure the closure at its zenith (suspenders are also ideal for special occasions). All evidence of this activity will be disguised beneath shirt hems or suit coats. There is an important purpose served in this effort: saggy crotch disposal. No one likes a sad, saggy crotch particularly when juxtaposed against a jovial, rotund belly.

3. Carefully select a jacket. Boxy jackets help your barrel to look biggish and strongish all over. Construction from stiff fabrication will ensure they hold up to the manliest man frame.

And to commemorate your ensemble success, decorate the shoulder with pads or epaulets. This will broaden the shoulders to their maximum limit.