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| I’ve been pining for an excuse to use this picture for months. Today is the day for cats playing tennis. |
I was ready to mold my figure with maternity. I was ready to acquiesce my time and energy to my progeny. I was not ready to resign my intellect to motherhood.
I do not embrace my fecund-ally linked stupidity.
My scholarly, academic google research uncovered thousands of articles on how to flatten my abs post pregnancy; balance a family on one hip, career on the other; but where is the balm for baby brain?
When I poise my fingertips to write-I have beef stew for brains. When I part my lips to speak, I require constant access to a search engine, using the Internet as an external brain drive to compensate for unexpected noun loss.
Pretty soon my babies are going to need more from me than the ability to remember the entire alphabet. They may want me to teach them how to string letters together. Counting above ten may be required.
I want to remember the names of the medications I’m taking. I want to navigate back to my parked car.
Consequently, I am going to bootcamp my brain. The neural connections that were separated during pregnancy are going to be fused back together with the mere tenacity of my will if necessary.
Has this happen to anyone else? Am I the only one who lost their ability to form complete sentences post pregnancy?
In the meantime, I can still pick out a smart outfit.
Here is what I have learned after having three children who are now 13, almost 11, and 8. I could have written your post after the birth of my first. Has your little one turned one yet? Do you cosleep? Do you nurse? I ask these questions because lack of sleep and hormonal changes can play a huge role in cognitive functioning. I think you probably already know that but it helps to hear it from others who have been there. Here is what has helped me, personally. Time has been my friend. I felt significantly better after my youngest started Kindergarten. I was a stay at home mom who enjoyed mothering. I did not have family near to help. I ineeded a weekly break that I got by sending my littles to preschool. Once they were in Kindergarten and above, it was less intense. I could breath and focus on myself. I didn’t realize this though until afterwards.
Try to get some physical exercise. You don’t have to go to a gym and leave them in the nursery. Take a walk with them in a stroller. Get a bike with a trailer or bucket and take them for a spin. Take them swimming. Go to a playground and push them in the swings.
Next, I prescribe a daily vitamin if you are not taking one already. Don’t try to lose the baby weight too fast. You need those extra calories to boost your brain power.
Last, accept your new mother self. You will be wiser in other ways. You might find that you are having trouble writing about fashion because subconsiously you realize that other things are more important to you now. You are going through a fundamental shift in your view of the world- and that is okay!!
I forgot to add (my mother brain is at work again)- it will get better. You will feel like you are intelligent and capable of forming complete thoughts. Try not to be so hard on yourself. You have been under stress anticipating the finality of Coco’s adoption and you are trying to renovate a house, two very big life stressors.
-Heather
I have felt exactly this way since my first was born. I find that exercise helps (except when the only time for exercise is in the wee hours, then it just makes you more tired and ditzy) and that having other, non-family, adults to talk to about things other than kids helps too. I love my book club for that, even though I mostly listen to everyone else expound with their perfectly thought out perfect thoughts while I stumble to string a sentence together.
After 4 kids, the youngest of which is three, I still don’t know how to get it back. I guess you recover it a little at a time. Or deal with it. Cause it happens to every mother I know. If you find the answer let us all know, if you please. Happy reclaiming!
I think what helped the most was not being pregnant any more and eventually getting “enough” sleep. It also helped me to be able to do things alone (like grocery shopping) and I started teaching piano lessons again. Of course there’s always sporcle and jeopardy on facebook. 🙂
Welcome to my life – it does not get any better in the gram-gram years. But I love them and I think they love me so we have our priorities straight. Organization is not all it is made out to be.
Oh man this is me if I don’t get enough sleep. I’ll find my brain selecting words directly next to the correct word as the dictionary goes, but it’s still the wrong word. It’s weird, yet fascinating. And quite annoying! I spend a lot of time telling Wes to just read my mind when I am trying to describe things. You are not alone! And I love what Anonymous said. I recently lost weight due to illness, and I noticed I functioned better when I had a few extra pounds in my corner. Vitamin D from fish oil is a biggie. I feel better when I (remember to) take it. AND I also noticed that my creative interests changed after Maya was born. I still love graphic design, but my mind suddenly wanted to write more. So I am just trying to roll with the punches. The biggest kicker is sleep. If I get enough, I am fully functioning. If not, watch out, world! I might drive around aimlessly listening to my kids CDs before realizing I passed the preschool stop 5 blocks ago… 🙂