Choose Your Fashion Adventure: Male Body Shapes

Today we embark on our adventure into male body shapes. Place your courage in your purse and proceed with me below:

The sweet scent of fabric softener eddies around your efficacious effort to change the wash. A sharp, unfamiliar scent slowly begins to invade your odoriferous cocoon as your fingers close around the last dark folds at the back of the heated vortex. As you pull the bundle into the light it begins to express its own volition. What had previously been a dark mass is now, most obviously, an illusive sock ferret.

Dark threads have matted against his silky coat and within his muzzle are two mismatched mates of your husband’s favorite socks. Angrily you threaten this dryer rodent with extinction as he has been thieving your footwear for years. He pleads for mercy, promising to never pilfer your laundry again. You look at him mercilessly and he continues to spew abundant promises (yes, of course he’s articulate – he’s a magic sock ferret). One payola perks your attention: a charmed garment of clothing which will magically tailor itself to any male features. (Be realistic, he is a male ferrett and can therefore only offer magic male clothing.)

You begin to mull over your choices and work to identify your Mister’s Male Body Shape:

1. If your husband is an Upper Figured Super V
You may fancy an enchanted button-up shirt which will instantly extend to cloak Mister’s wide strapping shoulders without billowing around his tapered abdomen. (After all his chest/waist ratio is greater than or equal to 1.20 and waist/chest quotient is less than or equal to .80)

2. If your male counter half is a Middle Figure,
perhaps you desire a mystic knit that structures but never clings Mister’s hardy midsection. (His waist is currently broader than his chest, he passed the minimum end of his categorical dimension a few years back: chest/waist ratio less than or equal to 1.00 and waist/chest quotient greater than or equal to 1.00)

3. If your gentleman has a strong Lower Figure,
spellbound pants that skim rather than cling to Mister’s squatters. He carries his weight low on the torso. ol’ tum tum may bow convex too, but the important  hips do. His chest/waist ratio is equal to or greater than 1.10 and waist/chest quotient is equal to or less than .90)

4. But if he is Linear
How could retreat from a bewitched suit that can find and lightly embrace the proportions of his narrow frame. (His chest/waist ratio is an average 1.20 (or slightly less than that) and his waist/chest quotient is approximately a quite common .85) But unlike most men, he doesn’t cling to a large label.

5. Mister doesn’t struggle with fit, so you decide to throttle this sock ferret once and for all unless he gives you the illustrious ferret fortune to upgrade Mister’s wardrobe.

Mull over your choice and return to continue your journey this week when we outline clothes to enhance each male body shape.